Confessions of a Cam Girl.

I have done a few odd jobs in my time and it's weird saying that considering that I'm only 23, but I have and it makes this experience acceptable for me to talk about.
This economy is shot people, so there are many justifications as to why some people do what they do. When I speak in the terms of "odd jobs", I am not talking about shoveling shit on the side to make ends meet, no, I am talking about something more exotic. I discovered my spot in the online community as a "Cam Girl".

A "Cam Girl" or "Cam Performer" is someone genuinely female (sometimes male or trans) that goes online and basically has sex with themselves for money and gifts. It's not a very respectable job in the public eye, but it's one step away from actual porn, depending on how you define porn in your eyes. I like to think of "camming" as basically a porn-like service, but you still get to keep your dignity in the process. Camming is like stripping because of all the alter-egos you can create, but you're basically alone half the time and the only ones that can see you are the viewers on the internet that pay.

I made great money as a cam girl, I won't lie. There were nights where I would make over $500 (I only worked about 2-3 hours 3 days a week) and on top of that, strangers would send me items from my Amazon wishlist as a token of appreciation. I had it pretty well made, but I also had to keep myself safe in the process, so that's where the alter-egos kicked in. No one really knew who I was, where I was from, etc. I kept it pretty low-pro as much as I could despite how bad I wanted to just be myself.

The reason why I began camming is because I wanted more so the adventure versus the money as odd as that may seem. Sure, I was struggling a little bit because I didn't make a lot of money at my job, but in the end I really loved the attention and I couldn't believe how much money people actually would pay for me to show off my body. I did this off and on for two years and the worst part of the whole experience that I can name to date is the secrecy of it. It's hard hiding something like this from the general public and fearing someone would find out. It's really hard.

Here's how my shows would generally go:

• I would start out by looking nice; full face of makeup and all. 
• The voyeurs would come in and I would chat them up until I would start getting requests.
• I'd get tipped for normal things such as flashing my tits and ass and the rest is just accumulated to the point where I would just get naked.
• I'd have my guests request their favorite songs and I would dance to them, in return gaining more tips. They really loved when I would dance to their songs and special points and tips for remembering their names/identities.
• Lastly, I say my goodbyes and tell everyone I would see them later and then log off and cry.

Yes, I cried every single night that I performed, but never once did my viewers ever see it because I always wanted to keep up with appearances and make them believe I was getting off just as they were. My room was a positive outlet and I wanted to keep the positivity going despite the pervs that would lurk into my room. I had quite a few perverts on the other end and oh my god, the beggars...

If you ever have experienced the cam world, you will notice that the place is filled with beggars, begging you to show your goodies for free. Usually at the expense of a viewer, you would get paid for the things you'd do, but then you had those viewers that would beg and beg. I usually kicked those people out because they were just too much. Trust me, if I was doing this just for the sheer pleasure of getting you getting your jollies, I'd totally give you a show at my expense....but since I made legit money, I required a fee and if you couldn't comply with that, I'd make you leave. That's the biz, yo!

The other main voyeurs that you would come across as a cam girl are the "High Rollers"; people that tip you big time for various, sometimes unknown reasons. These high rollers you end up noticing the most because you want that money and the more attention you give to them, the more you make as a cam girl. These people are the ones that keep what you do thriving. You want these people on your side. Another thing I should mention is that the high rollers not only tip you well, but they also moderate your chat for you as well.

There are various types of people out there, but the only thing that defines them is how they act towards you and most of them are dogs.

I liked and hated my secret life as a cam girl because of all the baggage it piled on me. I knew what to expect when I got into the biz, but I never realized how difficult it would be to carry it all around.

Would I recommend this life to someone? Absolutely not. It's emotionally hard on a person and it puts a lot on you to carry, hide, and protect. If you think that you can't get hurt as a cam girl, you're seriously mistaken. I could've put myself in some serious situations and as someone that tries to live life a little more respectable, it scares me to know what could've been. And so that brings me to how I got out...

When I decided to flee from the cam world, I had just started seeing my now current boyfriend. He knew what I was doing unlike my previous boyfriend and I only told him because I wanted to start a relationship with him with complete trust and honesty. If my boyfriend didn't like me doing this, I was going to stop doing what I was doing and completely devote myself to him and he would be the only one that would see my body as it would be the right thing to do. This was the perfect excuse to get out because I had seriously wanted to around that time. However, he was respecting of it and was very supportive, which made me feel more guilty for doing it.
When I finally quit camming, I had a scary encounter with a private showing. I am not going to get into much detail, but I was basically threatened to the point where I didn't even want to look at computer screen again. This situation brought me to tears and once it blew over (about a week later), I told my boyfriend that I was no longer going to do camming anymore. My body was for him and him only. I explained my scary encounter to him and he completely relieved all of my fears and that was the end of it.

Although I made really good money by camming, you now see why I had malaise feelings about it as well. I commend those that have been working and are still working in this business because it's really hard. I think about the people that do this daily because I want them to be safe. Never should anyone have to do this and never will I give out advice on how to get started and ect....simply because that's not my life anymore and I don't want to relive anymore painful memories that have damaged a lot of my emotions in the process.

I understand what I did is not very "role model-like", but I never claimed to be a role model. I did this because I wanted adventure and I wanted to stimulate my income a little more than what I would get otherwise. I don't plan on going that far again because I believe in the value of saving my money. Before, I was terrible at saving money and I guess I still am, but I am learning and that's all I can say about that.

You have other options in life and should any of those options be "adventurous" much like the ones I've endured, just play it safe and always have a good supportive person by your side while you're doing it. Your life will be safer and you will feel more secured as well.

Have any of you experienced something like this before? Share your story!

Sincerely,
Josie

P.S. This is just part of my series of "Odd Jobs" that you will see more of, so stay tuned!